“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” Barbara De Angelis
This year consumers will spend a record amount on the trappings of romance for Valentine’s Day–a heart-bulging 19.6 billion dollars! But for all this effort, are we any closer to understanding our most intimate relationships? With the emergence of dating apps like Tinder where you can order up partners like cheap take-out (no pun intended) with a quick swipe to the right and no intention of any real “tinder-ness,” is it any wonder that so many women are disenchanted with the game? And make no mistake, it is a game with no clear winners, but with a definite “end” reward in mind.
Real relationships take work, most of which begins with self. Knowing who you are and what your needs are as an individual gives you a clearer understanding of what and who you choose to consciously attract into your life. It is a commitment that requires the ruthless confrontation of fears, habit patterns, childhood conditioning and old emotional wounds.
Readings that focus on love tend to be the most popular request for tarot readers. One of the real gifts of the tarot are the truths that rise to the surface in spite of any efforts at suppression. Very often people are engaging with each other in ways that have little to do with the partner, and everything to do with their own personal, emotional baggage. My ongoing monthly video series, “Finding Love with the Tarot,” focuses on the individual as well as the positive and negative influences running through a romantic relationship with advice on how to overcome any challenges. Long after Valentine’s Day, the holiday that reinforces all of our romantic notions about relationships, has passed, I hope you’ll continue a love affair with self and explore the possibility that “The One” is really you and that the “perfect” mate is ideal only because he/she stimulates your evolution. And no, there’s no app for that.