7 Reasons Why Bennifer Was Problematic
Famous by Friday
The rekindling of the relationship between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez serves as a powerful reminder of the enduring nature of love and the potential for reuniting with a past love or “the one that got away.” I must admit, I was genuinely rooting for a positive outcome for this couple. The planetary influence over the union reflects an instant magnetism that rejuvenated each of them, encouraged both to lead more creative lives, and offered opportunities to heal the painful experiences of previous relationships.
However, when looking at the coupling of their charts in synastry, the relationship may have held more of the intrigue of a love affair as opposed to the stability of a long-term union. The 2:1 ratio of harmonious against disharmonious aspects is considered the bar for sustaining any lasting union. It becomes clear that despite their deep attraction, the relationship had major challenges to overcome, including finding the balance between intimacy and personal freedom.
1. Jennifer’s Moon squares Ben’s Mars – This is emotional frustration that creates friction in the relationship. Jennifer feels a strong attraction but realizes the relationship is troubled. She may feel that Ben lacks sensitivity to her feelings, and in turn, he may resent the need to console or assure her before he can move forward. Building something together makes good use of this challenging energy.
2. Jennifer’s Mars squares Ben’s Mars – This speaks to working at cross-purposes possibly due to incompatible goals, drive or motivation. As a result, they may have the strong wish to spend time together but differing desires lead to arguments, disagreements and the tension of competition. At times, each may view the other as arrogant, egotistical and self serving. The key would be to give each other plenty of space to pursue separate interests.
3. Jennifer’s Sun squares Ben’s Moon – The sun/moon combo is the principle symbol of relationship and especially important to a lasting bond. Jennifer and Ben have plenty of chemistry and spark between them that makes for an exciting connection. But with this aspect, this is likely an “opposites attract” scenario. Once the initial excitement wears off, what once seemed so exciting becomes irritating. Jennifer may feel impatient or frustrated by Ben’s emotional tendencies and Ben may feel overwhelmed by Jennifer’s personality. At times, she would have been insensitive to his feelings and attempt to dominate. It would require each to have great tolerance for difference to overcome insecurities that are likely to be triggered.
4. Jennifer’s Saturn opposes Ben’s Moon – Saturn is necessary to establish a long-lasting union, but placed at odds with a personal planet, each of them suffered discontent in the relationship. Perhaps they put in concerted effort to conceal that warmth was lacking or that something was missing, but each would have felt unfulfilled because of unmet needs. Ben, for his part, may have had difficulty relaxing or feeling truly appreciated given a certain coldness from Jennifer. However, Jennifer probably felt that her attempts at intimacy were misunderstood and was probably confused by Ben’s overly emotional responses. A commitment to resolve difficulties with patience and persistence would contribute to stability.
5. Jennifer’s Jupiter squares Ben’s Jupiter, her Uranus squares his Jupiter; her Pluto squares his Jupiter—Opposing values can be a formidable hurdle due to Ben and Jennifer’s differing opinions over values, beliefs, and perhaps the way they find pleasure. Ben may feel that he’s honest and open, but Jennifer insists on delving deeper, and may be frustrated by the lack of resolution, especially if she feels Ben is contradictory in his behavior. There’s a tremendous need for independent expression, yet each may feel uncomfortable in allowing the other to pursue personal interests. In a healthy relationship, openness to opposing views expands the personal perspective and can be a source of joy and stimulation. The challenge is to find meaning in their own lives while respecting each other’s personal values and beliefs.
6. Jennifer’s Mercury squares Ben’s Moon, her Saturn squares his Mercury, her Mercury semi-squares his Saturn—This is a triple whammy that indicates communication is a major problem between these two. Positively, Jennifer respects Ben’s intellectual capabilities and recognizes how his influence helps her shine through mental stimulation and lively conversation. Likewise, Ben is aware that Jennifer’s sunny personality opens his awareness to the world and they share a sense of humor that helps them make light of difficult arguments.
However, the discussion of intimate matters often creates friction regardless of approach. The relationship suffers from either unspoken problems or when either speaks their mind too often. Ben has a rising sign of Cancer and Jennifer has Libra; he communicates on an intuitive level whereas Jennifer is the more rational thinker. Alternating between passion and rationality, they have difficulty understanding each other. Communication impact self-esteem, particularly when laced with judgmental or critical attitudes or driven by the fear of intimacy. The inability to overcome this challenge means that one, if not both of them, would feel imprisoned by the relationship. They would each do well to improve their communication skills.
7. Jennifer’s Neptune squares Ben’s Sun, her Neptune squares his Mars – While this is a romantic liaison that inspired each of them to feel the union was fated and that they were with the right person at the right time, eventually they may have sacrificed their own personal needs for the misguided perception about what was good for the relationship. Positively, they shared a common bond when working together on an artistic, musical, dramatic, spiritual or philanthropic project.
A struggle to find common ground may be related to confusion about the purpose and meaning of the relationship with a consequent loss of direction. A strong sense of grief may have been the initial basis for forming the relationship or the failure to establish a loving bond has caused them to suffer. As the relationship developed, Ben may have been wary of losing his sense of self and Jennifer may have become increasingly secretive hiding her true feelings. The inclination could have been to resort to dishonesty to avoid the emotional pain of misunderstandings or honest conversations that tended to become confused and hurtful.